25 November 2009

Love is Powerful_5

The following morning the three had gone for a drive to get some fresh air. But it was still raining so they drove to the supermarket. Freddie had got out getting some more alcohol for that night. Jack and Jess just stared out of the windows. They were silent, each nursing a hangover.
“It’s not going to last forever, you know?” Jess stated.
“Yeah, but babe, you might as well enjoy it while it lasts.” Jack replied.
“He’ll be off to university next year and I know he wants to go to one in Scotland. I can’t… I can’t see us getting through that.”
“He’d still love you. Distance doesn’t stop love. Love is powerful. Love conquers all.”
“He’ll find someone else, someone better than me.”
“No one is better than you.” Exclaimed Jack, “Any guy would be lucky to have you. Stop putting yourself down.”
“Would you have me?”
“I thought we spoke about this yesterday?”
“Yeah but I’m serious this time. If we broke up, he’d probably move away now, get a place in Scotland. Get a first class honours degree and a really well paid job, a sex-on-legs missus and live happily ever after. I’d only be holding him back.”
“Stop talking such shit.” Protested Jack, “You have so much potential, you could be whatever you want to be and you know it. You could be an actress, a…an accountant in a dull office full of people called Geoff who work in I.T. or a…”
“Urologist?” Jess interrupted with a cheeky grin. She flipped around to face Jack. “That would be fun. I’d get to compare Freddie’s dick to other peoples and see what I’m missing” Jack laughed.
“Yeah you could and why not?”
Freddie returned with a crate of Carlsberg and a plastic bag which he dove in to as he shut the car door.
“Here you are dude; I got you a gingerbread man.” Freddie said, “But be careful, it may contain nuts” Both Jack and Freddie burst in to laughter. Jess smiled still thinking. “And a Double Decker for you gorgeous.” Freddie pulled the chocolate bar out of the bag and passed it to Jess, “because you seem to be able to take a double” he gave a knowing wink to Jess who sank back in to her chair embarrassed.
Finally Freddie pulled out a small package of white powder. “And then the white stuff.”
“Milk?” asked Jack who was concentrating more on his gingerbread man.
“A shit…” said Freddie remembering the one thing that was actually on his shopping list, “Yeah something like that”. Freddie turned the ignition and drove off eating a Twirl.
“Hey man, can you drop me home I need a new t-shirt and shit.” Asked Jack as they drove along in the rain.
“Yeah, sure thing. I need to go in to college quickly so, what, shall we say, 6.30 round mine?” replied Freddie, looking at Jack in the rear-view mirror.
“Ok sounds good.” The car turned a corner and stopped. Jack got out and ran in to his house.
At 6.34pm, Jack knocked on the door of Freddie. Jess answered with her mascara running, she had obviously been crying.
“What’s happened?” asked Jack urgently
“I had to end it. I couldn’t be in a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere.” Snivelled Jess.
“Where is he?”
“In the bedroom.” Jack went to the bedroom and found Freddie with his head bowed sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to the door.
“Hey man,” said Jack as he stood in the doorway. Freddie jumped up, a little startled.
“Hey dude,” said Freddie, still with his back to the door, desperately trying to wipe away any signs that he’d been crying. When he thought he had done he turned around. Jack was met with the sight of Freddie with messed up hair and red puffy eyes. Jess came up behind Jack.
“You ok? You look like fuck!” asked Jack,
“Yeah I’m fine, I don’t know what you mean, I haven’t been crying” replied Freddie as he wiped his nose on his sleeve. Jack smiled.
“I didn’t say anything about crying.”
“Oh, really?”
“What say you, me and Jess crack open a couple of bottles and stick a movie?” asked Jack, “I rented Quadrophenia” he said as he pulled the DVD out.”
“Yeah sure sounds good.” The three sat at the foot of his bed, Jack in between Freddie and Jess and watched the movie. During the movie, Jess’ hand slipped in to Jacks but their expressions didn’t change. Jack gently squeezed it. Freddie didn’t see a thing.
At the end of the movie Freddie put some music on and looked out the window.
“It’s still raining.” He said, “Quiet night in?
The other two nodded in agreement.
“Well, when I say quiet…” exclaimed Freddie, as he pulled out the pouch of white powder, Heroin. The group smiled, Jack closed the door and Jess got all of the tools.
The new day dawned, a brilliant blue filled the sky and the golden sun shone as brightly as ever soaking up the previous days’ misery and dampness. Daisies in the garden turned towards the sun and stretched up their necks to make the most of the glorious rays.
In Freddie’s room lay the three friends laid out across the bed, asleep. This sleep, however, was for eternity. The glorious dead, together, at peace, at last.

22 November 2009

Love is Powerful_4

They arrived at the canal and sat on the grassy verge and talked as if nothing had happened. Soon Freddie turned up with the carrier bag of drinks and shared them out. They talked as they watched the orange sun shrink beneath the horizon of the city and then they laid back on the grass watching the pink clouds slowly darken in to the night.
“Hey mate, do you want to stay the night at mine,” said Freddie as they left the dark canal and walked back to his flat, down the darkened suburban streets, “Jess is ‘cause her parents are away.”
“Erm… no I think I’ll go home and just chill for a bit.” Jack replied as Jess walked between them arm in arm. She had a bit too much to drink and was known for being a light weight.
“Oh come on Jacky-boy, we’ll camp out in the garden and pretend it’s the festival again.” Slurred Jess.
“No we won’t,” Freddie interjected. “I left my tent at the festival after you threw up in it. And I ain’t gonna let you do that to my new tent. I only got it a few weeks back.”
Jess laughed. “That was a good weekend.”
“What you remember of it.” Jack said in jest.
Jess jokingly punched Jack and then all three laughed. “Ooh we can make a den using the duvet, I did that all the time as a kid” she said in a high-pitched excited voice.
“Yes darling, we can do that” said Freddie, just to amuse her. “So you staying then mate?”
Jack thought for a bit, “Sure, why not?”
“YAHOOOOO” yelled Jess
“Shut the fuck up you piss head” snapped Freddie.
The group walked past a row of shops, one of which was a pizza take-away. Jack went in while Freddie held the semi-conscious Jess on her two feet.
As they got back to the flat, Freddie put Jess in the bed, but she clung on so there was a small struggle between them as Freddie broke free.
“She gets a bit horny when she’s drunk” explained Freddie.
“Yeah I’ve seen it all before… literally” smiled Jack and gave a little wink.
The two boys sat on the floor at the foot of the bed eating the pizza talking about by-gone days. The conversation drifted on to the future. “I’m going to be a music journalist.” Announced Freddie, “I just think it’d b awesome to be paid to listen to music, or even watch gigs and then talk about it. I imagine it’d be quite cool.
“Sounds awesome man, you’d be good at that, I know for a fact that most of my music comes through you.”
“What are you going to do then?” said Freddie picking at a slice of pizza
“I haven’t the foggiest. Not a Scooby” replied Jack as he took a mouthful of drink.
“You could…” Freddie was interrupted by Jess who decided to start snoring loudly. “You… you… hang on” Freddie got up and rolled Jess onto her front. He made sure her head was facing towards a bin. “I should stop her from drinking as much. You should be like a social worker and help kids, use your own experience man.” As he returned to the foot of the bed.
“Possibly. I really don’t know, I’m just feeling really lost at the moment. Hence the chair and the jumping and the hmm and erm.” He said looking at Freddie and they both smiled, taking a drink in tandem. They both burp in tandem but don’t react as if it’s something they do often.
“Harder… harder” Jess moaned after a brief silence. The boys looked at each other and laughed. The both turned to look at Jess. “Oooohhh” she continued. “Hmmmmmmmm!! Oh yeah… oh Jack” Freddie turned to Jack; Jack just stared straight ahead, almost waiting for Freddie to react. “Ooh Freddie,” Jess continued. Jack turned to Freddie looking shocked and confused. They then both smiled,
“She’s having a threesome” The both smiled looking pleased that she’s dreaming about them. Suddenly the both realised that it was technically both of them together. The then crumpled on the floor moaning with a mixture of laughter, unable to look at each other.

19 November 2009

Love is Powerful_3

“Come on guys, lets go out, it’s stopped raining.” Said Freddie, desperately trying to change the subject.
“Go where though? It’s a Sunday and everything will be shut.” Jack retorted.
“Skate Park?” suggested Jess, “although, I guess, all the chavs will be there trying to get high on rosemary ‘cause they’re too cheap to get the real stuff!” the others smiled.
“How about the bridge over the canal, no one goes there and if it rains again we can go under the bridge?” Jack said, “Freddie, can you get some drink, here’s a fiver. We’ll just sit and enjoy what’s left of the day and watch the sunset on that verge next to the bridge.”
“Sounds like a plan dude, it’s turning in to a good evening.” Replied jess, who had moved over to the desk and was re-applying her make up which had washed off in the rain.
“Ok, I’ll meet you guys there with the drink.” Said Freddie, sliding the fiver into his pocket. “You guys can walk it right?”
“Yeah, it’s only five minutes walk” said Jess. With that Freddie left. As Jess heard Freddie close the front door, she turned to Jack, “Were you really going to Jump today?”
“Possibly,” said Jack who was looking around the room, looking at the pictures and clearly avoiding eye-contact with Jess. Jess climbed back on to the bed and lay down beside Jack, who was still sitting and looking at the pictures.
“Why? You still have a lot to achieve and do in your life” said Jess in a lowered tone.
“Like what?” argued Jack snapping his head down from the walls to make eye-contact with her.
“Like your family, your friends…” she yelled back and sat up right to go face to face with him. As they sat staring in to each others eyes, neither of them spoke. “… and me” she finally continued in a calmer voice. They sat and stared at each other for a little while longer. Jess then leant forward to kiss him. But Jack, saw this and slid back as she leant in. Unfortunately he leant too far back and fell off the bed. Jess laughed. “Why didn’t you kiss me? I could see you wanted too.”
“Because you and Freddie are together. I can’t get involved in that, no matter how much I want to.
“But he’s not here”
“I don’t care”
“What if I wasn’t going out with him?”
“Maybe? What? I don’t know!”
“How about a threesome”
“Err… no!”
“With another girl?”
“Ooh?... No!!!!”
“What if it was just us three left on the earth and to avoid really bad case incest you both had to do it with me for the sake of the human race”
“Then yes”
“Yeah but that ain’t going to happen! Not while you two are still going out and not for a while after that either.”
“You’d still do it with me though”
“Come on, Freddie’s going to wonder where we are”
“You want to fuck me! You want to fuck me!” Jess chanted as they left the room. In the hallway, Jack turned to her and kissed her.
“That’s all you’re getting from me, can you now drop it?” Jack turned and left Jess in the hallway. She stared at him as he went through the door. She stepped back. Slowly a smile crept across her face and she bit her bottom lip. She then bounded out of the door, to catch up with Jack, closing the door behind her.

15 November 2009

Love is Powerful_2

On the drive home, all three were dripping wet in the car, the back windows have steamed up and Freddie had to keep wiping the windscreen of his beaten up car as the air-conditioning didn’t work. It was quiet in the car, they had been to a drive through so Jess, was making the only sound her drink trying to get the last remnants of the milkshake out. Freddie’s food lay on the dash board waiting for him when they got back to his Flat. Jack just sat in the back seat and stared at his food and the water dripped from his hair on to the food. Jess looked back at the shrivelled mess,
“What’s up dude? You ain’t touched your burger yet” she said, pinching a chip from his lap.
“I ordered it without gherkins” he said.
“Ah, that might be my one then” said Freddie launching the bundle back to Jack. Jack grabbed at it gleefully and ravenously tucked in.
“Erm… your burger might be a bit wet Freddo,” Jack spat out along with bits of burger, without gherkins, “my hair dripped a bit, sorry mate”
“Oh and that means I nicked some of your chips,” continued Jess, “here Jack, let me have some of yours to even it up.” She launched in to the back,
“Fuck off, you’re all ready fat.” Argued Jack jokingly. Jess took sarcastic offence and they started to wrestle. All Freddie could do was smile and wipe the windscreen again.
“Hey you two,” he yelled, “calm the fuck down, you’re shaking the car everywhere here, and not all of us here want to die quite yet. The two stopped fighting and stared at Freddie who stared back in the rear-view mirror. The exchanged “evils” but eventually Jack cracked a smile and threw a ball of fast food paper at Freddie.
They soon arrived at Freddie’s flat. They showered changed in to dry clothes lent to Jack and Jess by Freddie. They then sat in his bedroom with towels drying their hair. The bedroom, was untidy, unmade bed, clothes and rubbish across the floor. The walls were plastered with funny posters such as a sperm cell in the shape of the Nike symbol with the slogan, “Just did it”. There were also posters of bands and pictures of times gone by. The only carpet apparent was between the door, the bed and the laptop sat on a desk full of even more pictures, including one in a frame, the only one in a frame, of the three of them at a festival from the previous summer.
“It was a bit of a dull way to go, if you did go that is,” said Jess as she and Jack collapsed on to the bed after surfing the internet for stupid laws and games. Freddie had closed the laptop and swung round on the chair to face the two laid out on his bed.
“C’mon guys, do we have to talk about it?” he protested.
“What?” argued Jess, “If I was to kill myself I’d plan something elaborate to be remembered by, give them some positive out of it all.”
“That’s not a bad idea,” said Jack, now in deep thought, “what would be the best way to go?”
“Erm, in your 90’s during the night. Just go to sleep and not wake up” interjected Freddie but the other two ignored him.
“How about suffocation from a minge? Just stick your head inside and eventually you’ll just be breathing carbon dioxide. All you need is a huge vag… Freddie, do you think your mum would be up to it?” joked Jack. Freddie threw the TV remote at him, while Jess laughed loudly.
A jokey brawl ensued much like the one in the back of the car; this ends up with all three of them collapsed in a heap on the floor looking up at the ceiling in silence.
“What would be a really creative why to die?” Jess began, still looking in to space with the other two, “What would be a spectacular way to go?”
“Do we have to?” grumbled Freddie.
“I read on the internet once of a guy who was really fucked off with his life,” said Jack as he bolted up right, “and so he bought a gun, this was in America, some poison, some gasoline and rope. He went to this cliff that had a tree hanging over the ledge, so it was about fifty feet or so up from the sea. He drank the poison, tied a noose to the end of the tree, doused him self in the gasoline lit himself and jumped off the cliff with gun in hand. Everything was going well, you know, he was on fire, poisoned and hanging himself. As he fell he went to shoot himself in the head to really finish him off but he missed. Instead he hit the rope which in turn broke.” Smiles spread across the faces of Jess and Freddie, “so he fell into the sea which put out the flames. Then as he tried to make it to shore, he drank a load of water so by the time he got to the beach he was throwing up all the poison.” All three were now in hysterics. Jack composed himself enough for the punch line, “funny think is, he died of hypothermia later in hospital” All three roared with laughter.
“Poor guy” said Jess,
“Lucky guy, ironically” responded Jack.

12 November 2009

Love is Powerful

There was nothing else he could do. All he wanted to do now was die; he felt he was a waste of space just taking in the ever more valuable oxygen what with all the greenhouse gases, and he wasn’t making good use of it. The wind circled around him whistling in his ear, almost urging him to do it. To jump. The sky had become over cast and grey and dust was being swept up around him. A storm was coming. Jack liked storms; maybe he would wait and see this last one before ending his seemingly pointless life. He got down off the chair and sat on it looking over the horizon. From beneath the chair he pulled a thermos flask and poured out a hot drink. He settled himself down and admired the view as the storm rolled in. Jack was a small, skinny boy with loose fitting clothes, but they were simple, black tee shirt, black jeans and scruffy black converse shoes. He was about 17. His long, dark fringe was now matted across his face. Eye-liner started to stream down his face. He now regretted not buying the waterproof stuff.  
As the rain pelted from behind Jack, a small, rusty car drew up. The tyres squashing the wet pebbles beneath them. The headlights were switched off and the engine spluttered to a halt. Out of the car exited a girl, Jess, 17; she was fairly small but not tiny and slim. She had long brown hair she wore jeans, a band t-shirt and one green and one pink converse. The driver, he was known as Freddie, 18, but no-one knew his real name, he also had long brown hair wore a leather jacket, plain white t-shirt and jeans with the same colour shoes as the girl just on opposite feet. He sheltered the girl in his coat from the rain as they walked up to Jack. 
“Hey Jack, what’s going on?” asked Freddie
“Beautiful isn’t it?” replied Jack, “how something so powerful can be so beautiful.” 
“C’mon Jack, lets get out of here” pressed Freddie, “you’ll catch a cold or something, your make up’s running!”
“And? I’m going to jump of this when the storm has finished.”
“What, that chair?” asked Jess confused.
Couldn’t find anything higher” replied Jack, “if I do it properly I’ll die, you know, head first and break my neck.” 
“Of course,” said Freddie, “but some how, I don’t think that’s gonna work though mate, how about we go back to my place and dry ourselves off and maybe get some thing to munch, I’m starved. What about you Jess?” he asked,
 “Sounds like a plan Fred, coming Jack?” Jess replied. Jack sat and thought for a minute, contemplating many thoughts such as the magnitude and magnificence of the storm, the plan of jumping off a chair to kill himself and whether it would work or not…
“Jack?” Jess had interrupted his train of thought.
“I’m thinking!” snapped Jack. He continued his thought… or whether he was hungry or not? “Ok let’s go” and with out hesitation leapt off his chair and turned back towards the car followed closely by Jess and Freddie. Little did he know that just over a ridge where the lonely chair now sat was a 500 foot sheer drop on to jagged rocks and the rough sea below. 

7 November 2009


The summers breeze across my face
I love to spend time in this place
The sea whisked into a spray
The smell of freshly cut grass and hay
My eyes are shut 
I stand before my beach hut
I can sit and reminisce
With my thoughts in bliss
The laughing children in the sea
The taking of toast, cakes and tea
Sat in my deck chair, 
A hat covering my thinning hair
Eyes open, darkness descends
The magic ends
Life gives way to living
To a world unforgiving
My beach hut now a skip
My hands fail to grip
My tea, toast and cakes
Turns to green glass, falls, breaks
Drizzle dampens all the grey
The children sit, they do not play
This life so full of beguile 
I sit and look and smile


Can’t sleep without beside
Dream about
What will the future hold for
Can live together
Want to live together forever
Can see it lasting?
See soon